Weddings

Ceremonies:

• Wedding Ceremonies (you are here)
• Ceremonies of Commitment
• Funerals and Memorial Services
• Child Naming

The church is registered for marriages. The cost, including hire of premises, authorized person, celebrant and marriage certificate, is £450.

Unitarian view of marriage

We celebrate the joining of two lives with vows and symbols. These ceremonies may seem similar to many church weddings - they might include prayers and hymns, and some of the language might remind visitors of traditional occasions - but Unitarian weddings are different in several crucial ways.

A personal choice

Ordained by God or no? We leave that to your decision and to your conscience. Unitarians do not see vows of marriage as a sacrament. This word, which springs from the Latin for "holy act" is seen by orthodox churches as being "an earthly and visible sign of a spiritual reality". In the case of most Christian ceremonies, this means the joining of two people is "ordained by God" but enacted on earth. So the sacramental act of marriage depends on certain theological beliefs.

Unitarians, in contrast, emphasise that the decision to marry is made by two individuals in relation to their communities and their own spiritual feelings, rather than as an act of obedience and conformity to particular religious codes.

Adding the spiritual dimension

We rely more upon reason and conscience than holy books, so the rite of marriage in a Unitarian place of worship has more to do with the desire of couples to add a spiritual dimension to their freely chosen act - rather than to receive endorsement in accordance with a particular tradition's view of God. Because of this, Unitarians encourage couples to examine their own motives and to seek their own ways of making a "holy act". Couples are helped in deciding the form of language used in the ceremony.

First meeting

On first contact with a Unitarian celebrant, many people are surprised to discover that there are no tests or "right answers" to be produced. Often people coming to interview have been divorced, or come from varying religious backgrounds (Anglican and Jewish, for example). They may worry they will either be turned away or will have to agree with certain tenets or creeds. But most Unitarian worship leaders will only wish to assure themselves that the couple have thought seriously about their desire to be married, and that they wish to celebrate it in a respectful religious/spiritual context. Because we believe in the right of each person to seek her or his own spiritual reality, there are no "right answers".

Elements of the service

Couples will discover that the celebrant wishes for guidance from them as to appropriate language, readings, music and vows.  A Unitarian wedding might include words from the Koran or the Bible, with readings from Walt Whitman or Rabindranath Tagore. In Scotland there are no set words which must by law be used; in England and Wales there are two short sentences that are legally required for a valid marriage ceremony. All other elements  are open to discussion (within reason, of course).

If the couple do not wish to take a big role in designing the service, the celebrant, with the couple's permission, is able to do so. In general, weddings are arranged in good time to allow participants to consider what they wish to include, from prayers and solo vocalists to kissing the bride.

Choosing the venue

Unitarian weddings in England and Wales must take place during daylight in a building registered for public worship and for solemnisation of weddings. In Scotland the wedding can be at any hour and in virtually any location, including the great outdoors, if you fancy chancing the weather!

Who to contact?

Most Unitarian churches and fellowships have someone who can help you with specific questions.

The details of your wedding plans can be worked out following initial contact. This will include advice on legal matters and other considerations, such as music and flowers.

You will find that the process of marriage in a Unitarian church can be a help in a very important rite of passage. The spiritual significance of the act, as in all Unitarian events, is entirely yours to decide and enjoy.